When we feel anger, it comes from a deep place that demands acknowledgement and appropriate expression. At these times, we must find healthy ways to honour our anger, remembering how harmful it is to repress it. However, anger can also become a habit, our go-to emotion whenever things go wrong. Often this is because, for whatever reason, we feel more comfortable expressing anger than other emotions, like sadness or fear. It can also be that getting angry gives us the impression that we’ve done something about our problem. In these cases, our habitual anger inhibits our ability to express our other emotions and take action.

If it’s true that anger is functioning this way in your life, you might first want to notice when you get angry. You might begin to see a pattern of some kind. For example, you might notice that it is always your first response or always comes up in one situation. If the pattern doesn’t become apparent immediately, keeping a journal about when you get angry could be insightful to see if you can find any underlying ways. The good thing about keeping a journal is that you can explore your anger more deeply – from examining who in your family of origin expressed a lot of anger to how you feel when you encounter anger in others. This kind of awareness can be a powerful tool for transformation.

Anger can be a powerful ally since it is filled with energy that we can harness and use to create change in the world. It is one of the most cathartic emotions and can also be an effective cleanser of the emotional system. However, when it becomes a habit, it loses its power to transform and becomes an obstacle to growth. Identifying anger’s role in your life and restoring it to its proper function can bring new energy and expansiveness to your emotional life.
My resilience coaching might be helpful if you want to learn how to manage anger (yours and others).